It’s May 2019. That means it’s more than 7.5 years since Isaac was born. It doesn’t seem that long.
The other night I helped him off to sleep, which I have done most nights since he was 6 months old and will continue to do until he gets fed up with me. It’s not always easy and it’s not unusual for me to fall asleep before he does, which can be frustrating, but I’m not giving up those moments of holding hands with him, having random conversations (and telling him to stop talking and go to sleep ) and saying goodnight. I’m not giving them up until he’s ready.
But this particular night was different. I was wondering how much longer he’ll want to do this with me. I don’t anticipate it being long until he decides he’s happy to go to sleep on his own with just his teddies (and possibly Willow) for company. Given what I’ve read of other co-sleepers it may not be very far away.
It made me emotional that night and it’s making me emotional again writing about it. Those years just fly by. All those difficult days, through teething or fierce toddler independence, all those times we struggled whilst simultaneously reminding ourselves “this too shall pass” - and of course it did.
That mantra became so important, helping us through the hardest times and reminding us to cherish the little things. It’s quite shocking what has already passed, never to return.
It’s not always easy living in the moment and trying to cherish every little moment, when you’re thinking about so many other things. I still make plenty of mistakes, but I try to make the most of them, none-the-less.
Thinking about how his growing up is affecting me gives me a much greater appreciation for our parents. We say to them “but I’m a grown up now, don’t worry” but I can understand even more now that to them we’ll always be those same little babies that have grown up in a blur. It must be hard to watch us toddling off into life…
I can’t quite imagine being the parent to a thirty-something Isaac, and I don’t want to spend time dwelling on it for fear of missing out on the adventures today.
Being a parent is so much more of an emotional rollercoaster than I could have ever imagined.
They grow up so fast, don’t they?
Photo credit: A Google Photos collage of me and the boy through the years